Dave's leaving gig at Backline. Place was a rehearsal studio in some railway arches where someone worked, the main room would be booked for a practice, there'd be a busy gig, and the place would be cleaned absolutely spotless so the owner didn't realise there'd been anything out of the ordinary. Dave was going off to Australia for a while, so there was a leaving gig organised - party poppers, cream pies (leading to a creamy wall of death), etc, etc. This would be the time the owner turned up to pick something up, and found his rehearsal studio full of drunk underage kids running around covered in cream, party poppers and booze.
The City Club in general. Working Men's Club we used for a bit when having trouble with the GYC. No back room or anything, just the bands playing on a stage while the regulars trundled around inside. Little 3 or 4 year olds running past the front of the stage. Main memory being Walk The Plank/SSS/Down And Outs there, and having to get a few people to brace on one side of the room to stop a seating area with a pram and some women in getting taken out by people dancing. Old men in their 70s/80s sitting at the bar while all this is going on as well, drinking away.
Even In Blackouts (?) at a Help The Aged day centre. Everywhere else was booked out, and Squinty needed a venue. Called them up on the off chance, and they said "yes". Got a Temporary Event Notice sorted. Thank god it was November 5th and not many people turned up - tables with crockery for sale placed carefully on one side, salt and pepper shakers mover around, the little old lady who unlocked sitting in her office going "It's quite loud, isn't it?".
GYC gig where we realise all the 13/14 year old kids are standing over the other side of the road, looking at the upstairs windows. Cross over and find out that someone's getting a blow job, and you can see the head moving.
Lief Ericsson and Milloy gig, where the Milloy drummer plays with an Extra Strong Mint shoved up his arse for some reason.
GYC gig where we keep smelling smoke inside and are checking vents and stuff for an hour or so, before someone runs out holding a burning 3 foot tall plastic pot plant.
Himsa gig at the GYC where the singer gets one of the kids in a headlock and is shouting about it being "my fucking stage!" There is no stage at the GYC.
The Unknown gig at the GYC organised at one week's notice. Brian from The Unknown's birthday, and it coincides with Bottoms Up discontinuing a lot of types of spirits and selling them off half price. Including Agwa. Gig starts with a pool table with about 15 different bottles of spirits on it. Party Poppers halfway through set off the fire alarm, fire brigade turn up with us frantically hiding booze. Brian is stoked, as he's a fireman back home and spends about 20 minutes chatting about this with the fire brigade.
Godnose from Australia at the GYC, where Ben the singer spends the gig dressed as Steve Irwin and wrestling an inflatable crocodile while shouting "CRIKEY!" a lot.
Giving Matt from The Rites a cordless mic, him singing from the toilets, the roof, while doing laps of the outside of the GYC, inside a storage cupboard, etc.
Party Garbage/Last Worker And Parasite/Motherfuckers gig, loads of party poppers/cannons, silly string, Worker And Parasite dressed in Wizard Of Oz outfits which couldn't actually be cleaned by the place they rented them from, the floor staining from the ink in the party poppers.
Dan Potthast/Ye Wiles at the GYC leading to a broken window, and someone getting taken away by ambulance with the police in attendance. At a Dan Potthast gig...
Various times of Ellis getting naked, generally involving either Agwa, or an impromptu thrash band.
Forgetting to collect the mic stands with the PA for the Fig 4.0 gig, and making ones with gaffer tape, coat hangers and bits of broken drum stands nicked from the rehearsal studios rubbish bin.
Two random people turning up halfway through Holy Ghost Revival playing with Clorox Girls, and walking in with a sofa. They sat down at the back on it for about three minutes, and then left leaving it there. Rest of the gig involves people being thrown at other people on the sofa (ie: someone on the sofa, sofa picked up, sofa thrown across room).
Homeless man turning up and spending the gig telling people that he used to be a russian submarine captain.
Cringing/funny - Halloween gig where Joe 90 and Muttley's Dastardley Skam were due to play. MDS take ages setting up and playing, and then we realise there's no time for Joe 90 to play. With them having driven down from Leeds. In full zombie make up. Still feel bad about that.