A horrible hack

The Agents of Groove


Year Released: 2003
Format: CD
Label: Team Hi-Fi
Reviewed by Martin Brown on Jun 13, 2007
This review of this abominable demo-masquerading-as-a-record was inspired by Drownedinsound.com's review of Sigur Ros's ( ) album.

The Agents of Groove are a discovered journey for you to retrace; a path to the mildewed, stuffy, sonic bike sheds where you kept your secrets, your most derivative audio ice creams. 'Agents' of 'Groove' - agents, managers, negotiators, mediators, representatives of groove, channel, furrow, rut. Rutting Mediators of.?
Atmosphere-permeating vocality; a dead bluebird made of wasp bollock. High. When I was twelve mother bought me a tricycle, it was named Jeremy, like my dog's blood-batter-bark binman, I tune into the three auditory fragments of terrible unoriginal indie-rock with the image of early 90s band Let Loose's sweat-glistening ball sacs resting softly upon my forehead.
The CDR createth, verily, landscapes of sound on which individual 3-minutes-something-indie songs become aural villages supporting many and varied cultures each one with his or her own voice and the right to express it. And next to the villages are forests of melody from which they chop down sound wood and carve noise sculptures for the decibel-children of the aural villages to play with.
I went to university, and all they sent me was this shitty record.
Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata.
Shantih shantih shantih
Shit shit shit
And the rest is silence.

Thank god.

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