A horrible hack

Palatka - Asshole Parade


Year Released: 1999
Format: LP
Label: coalition
Reviewed by Andy Malcolm on Jun 13, 2007
Initially, I was more enamoured with the lovely, marbled grey vinyl than either of the bands here, but now it's doing something for me. Palatka first!

Yes, Palatka. All hail the Florida emo violence! What the hell is emo violence? I dunno, I'm just calling it that because that's what it says on the excellent inserts. I'm figuring emo violence is really short and fast songs with urgent screamed vocals with personal / political lyrics, because that's what Palatka are playing. This is very much a long the lines of End of the Century Party (more of that Florida emo violence!) but without the more restrained parts of that band. Palatka just fly a long during all 10 of their songs on this here vinyl, all neatly and evenly spaced out over their side. The insert was cool as they had song explanations, which I always like to read. Various topics, from the personal (emo) to being realistic about the scene: nice sarcastic comment - "This writing and these killer jams will spell certain death for racism, perpetuation of fucked up gender roles, and the exploitation of the worker fuck yeah... we're gonna break down the walls with our cheap merchandise and low door prices. I just know it". So, um, raging, fast, pounding hardcore. They have a neat soundclip about Woody Guthrie on the end. My old Geography teacher Mr. Nevens would be proud. Good shit.

The other side is home to the pot-addled Asshole Parade. They put out a live record and called it "lHIGHve" for god sake. Anyway, there's enough proof in the lyrics that such substances don't mess you up too bad, and I suspect they don't particularly care what you think anyway. So they are playing a whole set of fast power violence songs, which basically sound like punk rock condensed into real small bursts and played quicker. The vocalist sounds like he is going "Nya Ra Ra Ra Nya Bla Nya Ra Ra". It's pretty funny, and the 8 second long songs are always entertaining. But, it does get old, and just doesn't quite have the same impact as the Palatka side. It's just too samey, like Charles Bronson. Lots of cool samples though.

Palatka wins this split, but Asshole Parade don't mess it up too bad.

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