A horrible hack

Coheed and Cambria - The Rocking Horse Winner

Split promo piece of crap

Year Released: 2003
Format: CD
Label: Doghouse
 
Reviewed by Alex Deller on Jun 13, 2007
This appeared underneath a stack of cds on a shelf in my room and I wish it had stayed there. Its one of those horrible three-or-four track cd sampler things that bigger labels can afford to press and fling out to any old herbert in order to give them a taster of the new unit-shifting signings they've added to their roster. The music herein is extremely shit, and ultimately as much fun as drinking a warm cup of someone else’s sick.

The Rocking Horse Winner is grim pop music that sounds like Jewel, minus the edge. Their music has no place in my life whatsoever, and the very fact that they have called one of their prosaic ditties ‘When Songbirds Sing’ means they should all die by fire.

Coheed and Cambria play the aural equivalent of the Get Up Kids collectively jacking off into the mouths of Grade. They combine sickly pop and grating ‘operatic’ vocals with politely distorted guitars, and squeal unthreateningly in all the right places. They sound like an alterna-metal band who have recently discovered that ‘emo’ just got fashionable. Music for pretty boys and girls who used to like Placebo, and think they’re soulful just because they close their eyes and look distraught during the quiet parts. This band can also go to hell.

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