A horrible hack

Junior Battles

s/t

Year Released: 2010
Format: 7"
Label: Square Up Records
 
Reviewed by Joe Callaghan on Oct 4, 2010
Have you seen that new music channel Lava? Its mostly boys who look like girls with long windswept hair playing god awful guitar pop, influenced by the likes of all that US bubblegum bilge and their nonsensical metaphoric lyrics which strip right down to getting dumped or finding a hair in your soup, or some other trivial mundane shite. Junior Battles sound fresh off their video roster, with their well-rounded surfer accents and whatnot. The press piece says Id like this if I like Bad Religion or Lifetime, despite sounding very little like either. A bold statement. Or false. Bold and false. Mostly false. Its shite. If you say they sound like Fall Out Boy, you would get scoffed at by neo pop-punk aficionados (read their thread on Punktastic for proof), but that lot are most likely a delusional set of shit-ears who are trying desperately to justify favouring this parent-bankrolled glorified prom-band guff. It does, no matter what they say. It sounds like Fall Out Boy, and all that current crop of stadium pop punk. Id steer clear if I were you. Any of these songs could seamlessly fit onto the cassette tape that comes free with the latest issues of Smash Hits, Menstruation Fortnightly or Spoiled Gobby Cunt along with a cherry lollipop and a deck of Fit Hunks Top Trumps. This is shit.

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