A horrible hack

Colleen Green

Green One

Year Released: 2011
Format: 7"
Label: Hardly Art
 
Reviewed by David Giles on May 4, 2011
Often and often my ability to hand pick piss-poor music to check out blows my mind. Due largely to some rose-tinted and whimsical notions about the ‘beauty’ of discovering new bands by buying records recommended to you (that I doubtless assimilated from one of the millions of 80s hardcore interviews I read when I was 16 and have dragged into this decade by downloading blind rather than spending real life money) I torture myself by sitting for hours on end half-reading and skipping through download after download of awful music. Usually I just delete and move on with my life but every now and then I hear something so abominably bad that I would feel guilty not to warn others. This abortion of an EP features 4 paint-by-numbers tracks of frankly twee and wimpy (although all over the place genre-wise) songs sounding like good recordings of a secondary school Green Day tribute or something. In fact its all made by one (I assume Hive-fan) brat. I feel like I must have my wires crossed to be listening to a real life release rather than a purevolume page with less than 100 views. Genuinely dreadful. Fans of trendy all over the place music and immature garbage like the Vivian Girls should buy this one.

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