A horrible hack

Des Ark

Don't Rock the Boat, Sink the Fucker

Year Released: 2011
Format: CD
Label: Lovitt
Reviewed by David Giles on Sep 7, 2011
In Smallville when Lana Lang is working in the Talon and there’s music playing in the background it sounds like this. Dunno, maybe the handclaps and weird voices are too ‘experimental’ for the Smallville soundtrack. Of course I mean ‘experimental’ in the way that Sufjan Stevens is being experimental by using a glockenspiel on every track on every album. Now, a few times this falls into a sort of Bright Eyes angst vibe. Those bits aren’t bad. The acoustic mellow vibe is pretty hard to mess up though to be fair. Her voice can be quite nice too. I think this is perfectly acceptable background music for when you’re in the bath or when Lana is serving coffees in the Talon. Not really an album I can imagine having on constant rotation though when there’s already such a wealth of pleasant coffee shop music in the world. Know what the problem is with this, actually? So many of the tracks go from a sort of mellow bummer vibe to SOMETHING ELSE – and I don’t think I even almost enjoyed any of the ‘other bits’. Overall, the question is would I rather listen to this than the Smallville soundtrack? The answer is in the first letter of every sentence. A C-Z first!

On a sidenote -- the promo sheet is a veritable goldmine of dyno taking-it-too-far quotes. My pick is “where day slips silently into night as the grass turns gently in the wind just before the edge of the forest; where phantoms roam free and feral beasts stalk… the untamed serenity of these reaches is where one would expect to find this record”. You can also expect to find it in ma bin. Dealt wae.

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