A horrible hack


first demo

Year Released: 2004
Format: Tape
Label: self released
Reviewed by Andy Malcolm on Jun 13, 2007
This here band from the middle of England are attempting to document every sneeze, every wee, every scratch of the bum that they ever do. So this 3 “song” demo tape bares witness to their very first practice session. Quite. The difference being that these kids first practice session turned out a lot better than some bands 4th album. Not bad going. The first “song” is at least half an hour long, and features some excellent shouts by a twelve year old boy (Joe Caithness) who bellows about people touching him (?) I think, making me convinced that this is probably an anti-paedophilia song. He shouts “I have no mouth!” (or maps?). Poor boy. There are some Maiden style metal riffs and kind of lounge music style twinkly bits. Quite often it sounds like Joe Caithness runs away from the microphone (perhaps a strange man is chasing him), he does some spoken word bits then yells “I have no hats!” some more, all the while he is doing this the band play Maiden riffs and feedback. “I have no cats!”. What a spazz. Once that shit is over they do a grindcore version of “Walking in the Air” by Aled Jones. For serious! It’s basically just some dude drumming really fast whilst Joe Caithness shouts about 2 lines of the song. Ok. The final track is a really nice instrumental that wanders around here and there. Melodic and all that. It’s kind of like Yaphet Kotto.

So congrats to the Snowman on their first practice! This tape will make you feel like you were there! Subscribe to their club (thesnowmandoapracticeandafart@yahoo.com) and they will send you every practice they do in a series of homemade Maxell C120 tapes. Watch out for strange men!

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