A horrible hack

Coliseum - Lords

split

Year Released: 2004
Format: 7"
Label: Initial Records - Auxiliary
 
Reviewed by Alex Deller on Jun 13, 2007
A pair of Louisville sluggers here, teamed up on a slice of red liquorice to show us what their hometown is all about. Forgive me if I'm a trifle unimpressed.

The Lords are up to bat first, grabbing the tangled rock of Keelhaul and coupling it with the impudent stomp of the Rye Coalition, a pairing that is almost interesting but doesn't quite meet the mark. Heavy rock riffs are mathematically skewed beneath the singer's howl and wail, the band coarsely bashing away for all their worth without noticing the songs are lagging far behind the spirit. After two of their own and a rendition of Marilyn Manson's Beautiful People that somehow manages to be even worse than the original I'm led to suggest that if you want to hear this kind of thing done well, try tracking down the Whip's fabulous 7" instead.

Coliseum represent a similar lack of excitement. Over the course of two original ditties and a lacklustre Fear cover they straddle some kind of dividing line between the dark hardcore of bands like From Ashes Rise and Motörhead-inspired rock n' roll. This isn't an entirely impossible task (see, for example, the hit and miss Born Dead Icons), but while Coliseum riff, howl and bemoan their lot, they steadfastly fail to unite the notions of d-beat pessimism and a boozy night on the tiles, instead just cobbling together an ailing halfway house that makes not a single dent in the memory.

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