A horrible hack

Crash Smash Explode - Secret Life of Machines


Year Released: 2001
Format: LP
Label: Bifocal Media
Reviewed by Andy Malcolm on Jun 13, 2007
Mmm, marbled purple wax. Mmm, 12Ē that plays at 45rpm. Mmm, record geek. Hey, come back! OK, these are two crazy good bands that you possibly havenít heard about. I even have no idea who Secret Life Machines are. Iím sorry. But hey, this 12Ē is a pretty damn good introduction as to what they are all about. Both bands are playing unpredictable, hardcore influenced music that is damn tough to describe! Here is my attempt:

CSX had a 7Ē out last year, and this expands on that (itís better), though it was probably recorded at the same time. Figure, rather odd and mathy hardcore, layered in with electronics and some very, very, very strange vocals. The guy is alternately screaming his heart out, and singing in a very wavery voice that is vaguely reminiscent of Antioch Arrow. I really donít know what the fuck this lot sound like. Older Radiohead crossed with Antioch Arrow crossed with Jehu? Or something stupid? That probably gives you absolutely no idea what they sound like, but thatís cool, as they have a pretty unique sound. Which is a rare thing to say in this day and age of hardcore! Mix some rock-out moments with some super-danceable bits and I guess you have it. I think Nadia would rather love this band. Ex-Candyland Car Crash! Ex-Owltian Mia! You nerdster to the nth degree you.

Secret Life of Machines have a cool name, and a cool style. The first track is in a pretty familiar style of grooving, screamo hardcore with screamy vocals. Iím pretty sure I have a bunch of stuff that sounds like this, but I canít nail a comparison. Red Scare mixed with new Song of Zarathustra? Throw in horror movie church-organ and you have a song that Witching Hour would have happy to consign to one side of a super limited vinyl on 5 ľ inch. But SLoM make it their business to confuse you with this track, by changing track rather sharpish. ďFingerprints of the Armless ManĒ (crikey) slows things down, and gets very, very strange. Vocals are talked into a megaphone from some distance away as the bass grooves and the music swirls around your head. Listen to it on headphones. Overall, the band is a mixture of those first two bands I mentioned, plus is more gothy and weird, and less screamo. I think Nadia would rather love this band. Ex-? I have no idea who the fuck this band are or anything. Sorry, nerdster.

Dude, I just read that there are only 500 copies of this. Find it now!!!

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