A horrible hack

Hey Colossus and the Van Halen Time Capsule

Eurogrumble Vol 1

Year Released: 2010
Format: LP
Label: Riot Season
Reviewed by Joe Callaghan on Jun 6, 2010
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkk. Unremitting brutality, of unholy, gargantuan proportions, thus becoming one of few records I own where Iíd be wise to equip myself with a man-nappy whilst listening, and a bucket for overflow. Ranking equally alongside the Gruel 2xLP from last year, this is one of the most unrelenting heavy records for quite some time which manages to convey profundity as well as being absurdly and enigmatically thunderous way beyond the majority of its sludge/doom/noise rock counterparts. It upholds the Unsane/Cherubs blueprint, whilst amplifying a robust aggression that is rarely translated so well on record. This thing is absolutely fucking massive. Hey Colossus dig their heels into the dirt and drag every second along with such a sluggish struggle via colossal pounding drums which sound almost tribal to a terrifying degree. The bass pulsates and resonates like an earthquake and the guitars howl with almost unparalleled piercing ferocity, lead by mangled, pained vocal screeches, terrorizing enough to make grown men cry. This guy is fucking pissed off and he wants you and everyone you know dead. Youíve shagged his missus, youíve cloned his Visa Electron and youíve had away with his hub-caps. Now he wants to punt you against a wall until you are butchered, tenderised Man-stew, just as you deserve. Each snare drum smash and bass thump is like a punch to the back of the skull when youíre not looking, but instead of a fist, itís an 18 wheeled tanker full of cinder blocks and gravel, accelerating and reversing over your destroyed torso until you are completely trodden into every fissure of the pavement. Uncompromising, violent brutality. Visceral, primitive, unholy and pure evil, for anyone who is up for completely obliterating parts of their nervous system and/or soiling themselves several times over. Right fucking good!
Recommended record by Collective Zine!

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